The Idi-ut...

Not to see you is an eye sore,

Watching the gate all day,

Wondering when you’ll walk past it

Not to hear you

Like a deserted village, after a storm

All silence, all quiet

Not to feel you,

Hands seem to have no purpose to being

Just dead without meaning

Not to inhale your fragrance

Is breathlessness,

Even air can’t quench

And not to love you

Will make me the idiot

Not to realize it all…

Thinking of You

Everytime I close my eyes, its you I see

So I stopped sleeping

You trouble me everytime I blink

I want you to be my true friend

The reason for my being

My Dear Crush

When you smile,

The world falls at your feet

'Cause the radiance is too spectacular

I should know you and you, me

Know what i feel

'Cause your thoughts towards me may

turn from good to better or good to worse

But a great friend is what I expect

From this Crush of mine

Who has disturbed my peace of mind

No longer there...

Walking on the sand, the waves no longer break.

Looking at the sky that is no longer blue

the garden near by not green any more,

the flowers bloom not like before

the birds above sing no more.

Stuck in the moment, your no longer talking

your gone, and you wish not to be found

all I have now are just your memories,

I hope to keep them, close to me

for a long long time...

:-)

Bee like me !!!

This bee buzzing around,

buzzing from here to there,

this flower to that flower,

with the fragrance pulling it here and there,

at every flower, another bee it finds...

disheartened, fear within, all the good flowers are gone,

unshaken, it rises, and flies again,

to search for that flower,

with the sweetest nectar of all...

Last night...

I close my eyes, I see you,
looking back at me,
your smiling, waiting for me to say something.
I am numb, the cat has my tongue,
...
my eyes open and I am here again.
thinking to myself, how pleasant I feel again.
writing I ponder, how to pen this feeling i have.
that puts a smile on me,
everytime I think of you.

I am happy again...

She's looking back at me,
unsure - her face reads
She hides it with her smile
the winds blowing hard
Her hair covers her face
I can still see her, straight into her eyes I stare,
I am searching for something I can't find
All puzzled, I smile...
'Cause I understand what a beautiful feeling I have
I am smiling, 'cause I am happy again
and you my dear is the reason
why I am
:-)

What am I feeling now?

I wrote this last year in June (2005)- Panchgini...

Everyone around me emotionally torn, weeping, expressing
But I am a ROCK, a turtle who doesn't want to come out of his shell.
I am strong and focused, but so emotionally weak,
I see around me grief, so I gulp down my own sadness
My purpose, My cause, makes me sacrifice my relationships,
to hurt another, hurts me also.
But I go on, with my purpose. Alone for now,
Along the way, one day a mate I may have, who I can look up to
for support, who I can go and throw all
my grief upon, whom I can be at peace and
shed the tears I've been holding for so very long.
Someone who soothes teh pain of my aching heart,
a companion, a friend, a soul, to complement mine
But alas! the wait is on
In the mean time, more hearts are broken and mine
turnsmore and more over the passing days into stone
Who will help me melt this stone and help me be what i am to be.

I am happy, yet sad - this mask is getting heavy.
the mask is getting heavy.