What am I feeling now?

I wrote this last year in June (2005)- Panchgini...

Everyone around me emotionally torn, weeping, expressing
But I am a ROCK, a turtle who doesn't want to come out of his shell.
I am strong and focused, but so emotionally weak,
I see around me grief, so I gulp down my own sadness
My purpose, My cause, makes me sacrifice my relationships,
to hurt another, hurts me also.
But I go on, with my purpose. Alone for now,
Along the way, one day a mate I may have, who I can look up to
for support, who I can go and throw all
my grief upon, whom I can be at peace and
shed the tears I've been holding for so very long.
Someone who soothes teh pain of my aching heart,
a companion, a friend, a soul, to complement mine
But alas! the wait is on
In the mean time, more hearts are broken and mine
turnsmore and more over the passing days into stone
Who will help me melt this stone and help me be what i am to be.

I am happy, yet sad - this mask is getting heavy.
the mask is getting heavy.

Your Gone... :-(

You'll be gone soon,
only your memory will remain,
and a dead toe nail...

How can one strip of one's skin off the flesh?
What will happen...
the new skin will grow back...
the scars remain forever.

I am sitting here,
the night seems darker than ever,
its silent...
two coffees on the table...
sipping on one... I wait for that
what is inevitable...

The inevitability of you... gone

:-(

The Exception to the Rule

"I am Different", Says she...

so sometimes its orange, yellow, green... blue mostly

Her favorite Word: Noutanki...

How many of us long to have her Hidden Pearl ?


She knows when I am blue,

And when she's irritated, she hate it to be "Rubbed in"

For a coffee, she'll make you wait atleast 6 months,

don't expect dinner/lunch, you'll end up with pizza.


When you hurt her... its difficult to look at her into the eyes,

the ganges will flow...

I call her "Light my fire", 'cause she couldn't light mine...

she doesnt seem to get it right, but the training is on.


She'll be gone soon, I wish she could stay right here,

but our journey till here is done,

a new path has opened for her.